1999 We discovered each other. Song in my head plays over the years, "Femininity", drowns my tears, carries me to a place once familiar and though time and circumstance lessen my ability to clearly recall, my heart still clings to what used to be. This is what stays with me... Long distance traveled to make love, make friends, make sure the intensity and loyalty remains. Though miles between us, love grows. Two different worlds, you full of passion and generosity regarding your emotional capacity. I, young minded, not yet on your level. Games played...
Not ready to release the past, holding onto photographs as if some piece of me would disappear if I discard old faces. Too late I realized, material things of any caliber, never held a candle to the wealth of fulfillment I gained by your side. Unexpectedly your words that once comforted my uneasy mind, delivered painful truths and unwanted goodbyes. Powerless, you were no longer mine. No longer subject to my lack of respect for you, for your effort. Four hour drives, just to maintain my happiness, at your sole expense. Though I have never had the chance to say what inside I felt, it felt like I could've died. On the other end of the receiver, I received the news that I'D never again see your face. Years Past, unsuccessful attempts to diminish your memory. Lingering within me, desire, wondering if you remember me, if you recall our time together, if you know how I have held those times in my mind...
Fast forward ten years, same two people, two different worlds. Thoughts of you, though only friends. Us, attempting to make amends. Text messages about blessings and business. Your tunnel vision concerning me is a reminder of the chances we take, the bad choices I made, and how since you left my life that day, I have never played with anyone’s heart, after I mistreated yours and you, in turn, broke mine... 1999
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