StylisM

My journey is long. However the end is not the path I seek. It is the experiences and lessons learned that keep me striving to be me.

            -Style-

I’ve made many mistakes in my short lived life. Some which have affected others. I no longer dwell on the mistake but on the lean on the lesson learned. The decisions I have made have been for my benefit, that’s what I thought, in one way or another. The lessons I have learned from most of my decisions were not entirely apart of the mistake but that each mistake has a consequence. Some consequences affect more than just me unfortunately it has affected family members, friends, and even strangers. However, through it all the key was to stay positive and keep my head facing forward. I continue to follow my StylisM credo. I know that if I take the path towards the negative my journey will become tainted. My journey is not in pursuit of perfection. It’s the pursuit of realization of me. The obstacles that lay before me do not control or direct me they give me fuel and strength to endure. They add wisdom and experience to my life.

With these lessons, I give what I believe we were destined to do, teach and inspire. My words and thoughts are not law. I speak from my heart and try to relay my experiences so that it may inform or entertain my peers, family, friends or anyone who chooses to listen or read.

The irony of my journey is the paths I take are not exactly random but placed before me to form the purpose of my journey.  

I find myself losing focus at times. I take my eyes off of the prize. I believe I become overwhelmed with the “IDEA.” I look at the whole staircase instead of seeing each step. Its a weakness I have had for as long as I remember. However, even when I begin to walk away someone or something pulls me back in. Whether its friends, family, or just materialistic wants. They give me unknowing hints of where my focus needs to be. But yet I still fall to another weakness. The weakness of “BALANCE.”Life goes in many directions all at once. Some have the ability to have a part of themselves walk each path laid with equal concentration. Others like me, get wrapped in one path until another path is revealed then we leave the first path behind to began the new path’s journey. While life is constant change. We must remember how we respond to these changes as they are our directional guide.

I remember having ideas that I felt were great and started working on them and with those ideas sparked another idea and another. I was now consumed with ideas, which is a good thing, but with no direction. From there stems more distraction more frustration and no progress. I started trying to do more than one thing at a time, MULTI TASKING. In ways multi tasking is great but when you multi task so much you never finish anything it then becomes a problem. Let’s face it today life demands multi tasking. Everything we do in life requires you to be doing something else. From our home life to our work life if we aren’t doing more than one thing then we are behind. There was a time when you focused on one thing at a time to ensure one it was done and two it was done properly. Today we are more concerned with how much we can get done than the quality of how its done. As a society we also have excepted the quality of the mass multi tasked work. Now I’m not saying multi tasking is anything negative but the question now is “what if with all this multi tasking we never finished anything?” I run in to this from time to time actually more often than I’d like to admit. I have fought with this issue time and time again. I seem to have so many things on my plate but I never clear it. I now have realize that I have to PRIORITIZE my task. I have to keep things in prospective in how and when I want things done. Over the years I can’t even count the numerous ideas that never got explored and goals I didn’t achieve. Although I still face the negatives from my lack of balanced multi tasking. I have less unexplored and unachieved goals by PRIORITIZING.

Prioritizing is like setting a guideline in how you want things done. We already see prioritizing when we are at work but we see it less at home. Maybe its from wanting to feel less control. Which is completely understandable. Our home lives are usually our escape, our safe haven from the demands and restrictions in life. However, having a guideline can also improve the quality and time we have in our lives. Imagine trying to plan for a party for you and a group of friends. Whether its formal or informal there are many things to be done. Without some kind of plan or guideline you will be running around aimlessly. Although things may work out fine and on time just think of the processes and the time you will spend trying to finish. The key is to think of the whole situation and break it down into smaller steps or goals. Now you have more digestible pieces. Then you must figure out which ones has a greater impact and which ones have more time constraints. These processes seem to be common place when discussed, although we do it everyday in our work lives. Most of us neglect it in our home lives. However, hardly any of us do it in our mind or in the pursuit of our dreams.

 My passion for music is as great for my passion for writing. I enjoy almost all types of music but I listen to mostly listen to old Motown. If you got any favorites let me know I will add them it doesnt matter what genre. Also if you are an artist and have a website send me a link and I will add it to my page.

Living Life Without Regrets

We all probably at one time wanted go back in time and change some devastating event in our lives. Some of us may wish we never met a certain someone. REGRET is to feel sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, or disappointment. Why do we feel this way? Do we have regret when we are living in the moment? No. We regret after we lived in the moment and it brought upon a negative action. Everything we do in life is a result of an action. Some actions are more controlled than others. We must realize these feelings of regret will only hinder us in the long run. We go through life learning through our mistakes and if realize our mistakes we gain experience and wisdom. So regret can be looked at as being immature. I say immature because we want to take away the consequence of our actions. We do not want to take responsibility. Like a child growing up they rarely want to take the responsibility for their own actions. So the key is to take that mistake, loss or disappointment and learn from it. Find out how and why. Then use that experience and wisdom from that day forward. Remember regret is a weakness we create in ourselves by ourselves. If we learn to turn that negative thinking into positive actions we will no longer feel regret.

Steps In Achieving Dreams

When I was younger I had a dream of becoming a doctor. I wanted to make lots of money and have everything that comes with it. However as I grew older I started finding out what the steps were to becoming a doctor and I quickly changed my dream. Now I’m not saying if dreams are hard to achieve then give up. I’m saying when you dream, dream in detail. Dream of What, When, and How. Now once the details of your dreams are revealed its time to manifest them. We must bring them to reality by speaking them, writing them, outlining and understanding them. Speaking them allows yourself to hear it which reminds you keep focusing. Writing them gives you a visual, so post it everywhere you can to constantly remind you of it. Outline breaks down what has and needs to be done before the dream can be achieved. Alot of us ignore or neglect this step. We go after I dreams blindly not knowing what exactly is need to achieve them. Understanding our dream is far the most important. Understand what you want to accomplish. Understand its benefit, its structure and its purpose. If you do not understand it how are you going to overcome obstacles they may arise. The key is to dream big, but focus on the small details. Big dreams can come from small feats you face in your daily life. You have to be open minded and open hearted. Every step you make can lead to better things. Just make sure the steps you are making are positive and go with the path of your dream and not against.

Learn, Make It Your Own, Don’t Follow Society Create Your Own

This statement to me is very powerful. Although we try to think our decisions in life are our own. A lot of our decisions and direction is actually just based on a path that was already taken. Society has a great influence on almost every possible THING in life. However one thing society can never truly control is YOURSELF. Even though alot of us blame society for our shortcomings or success. Its truly YOU that has been the cause. Society is nothing more than a guideline established by your peers, government, family, job, or anything that speaks and represents a group of individuals. While some societies provide support, love and protection. The path they follow may not be the path for you. Until you realize you are truly in control of your life, accept it, and grow within it. You will always follow behind someone elses path. Is this your journey or are you accepting someone elses?

Finding Happiness In All Things Genuine

Family, friends and Enemies? How many people speak ill of their friends and family? Many do not knowing that all that wasted energy could be used building happiness with these same people. If we stop and think of this PEOPLE COME AND GO OUT OF OUR LIVES! Its law we as humans tend to hold on to things and people that we think we need to be happy and never realize that the thing or person we are holding on to is not what made us happy. We have gained and lost many of friends in our lives. However we found happiness in new friends and memories we created from our past friends. Life is about experience. From these experiences we create memories which add to our happiness. Our families are torn by lies, deception, greed, jealousy, and envy. All these things you expect to associate with your enemies. However we spend our time fighting our love ones and neglecting to realize our enemies are watching our every move. Although families have their ups and downs it should always be contained within the FAMILY. Achieving happiness is also helped by your association. Build the biggest association you can with friends and family. The bottom line is no one is perfect. So instead of looking for faults look for that one thing that makes you smile about that friend or family member. Focus on that entity and build on it. From there friends and family become genuine allies to fight against your ENEMIES…. Enemies how do you find happiness from enemies. Well very simple know this if you one know who your enemies are you are a step ahead. Find out what they are trying to sabotage, or disrupt. From there know that you are headed in the right direction when you have enemies around. That means there is jealousy and you are not the one being jealous. So the key is to be happy with that strength and use your new allies to fight your enemies and reciprocate the favor.

Your Beliefs Are Yours

This is a rather touchy topic but a powerful one. I struggled and still struggle with my beliefs in religion. However, my struggle is my own. I grew up in a christian family and their beliefs were somewhat forced on me because I was a child and the decision wasn’t mine to make. As I got older I realized a lot that i learned was hearsay. I felt if im going to be apart of something I need to know something other than what was heard. So i started researching myself for my own salvation. I adopted my own beliefs and thoughts on religion, life and how my path is constructed. I took knowledge from religious to philosophy as well as my own trials and tribulations. I do not confess to be right but I confess to be me. I do not doubt my beliefs and I hold true to my thoughts however I continue to research to obtain more and more clarity. So no matter what you believe in DO NOT allow any person, event, or thing take that belief away unless you have witnessed or researched for yourself. Remember you are the key to your salvation not your congregation, your friends, or family. Seek salvation from within and your path will always be enlightened.

Sometimes We Have To Stop And Laugh

With life seeming so serious at times. We sometimes get caught up and forget to find that inner child. Although life is challenging yet rewarding we have to realize we only get one chance at life. So when things seem to be at their worst. Stop and have a laugh. Find those friends and family members you are allies with and have fun. I am one to try to find humor in everything I do. Life comes at you fast and hard with little room to breathe at times. However in my darkest hour I always seem to find something to bring laughter out of me. Laughing is contagious so if you wanna start an epidemic let it be laughter. I start from here.

You Simply Put

It all comes down to this YOU. Everything in your life starts with and ends with you. What you do with it in between is up to YOU. Believe in yourself. Take positive risk. Love openly spread your happiness around. You have more power than you may think. However with that power you can start a plague within. Focus, Stay positive and respond accordingly. If you think negative it will be the only thing you see. If you see negative you will be negative. If you are negative you will respond negative. We sabotage ourselves with our own thoughts and responses. The dream we once pursued becomes the nightmare we gave up on. Life has obstacles, life has challenges. But know through these trials great things can come about. If you believe in YOU. No matter how much someone else believes in you, if you dont then what they believe doesn’t matter. There is no way to avoid the negative sometimes but there is always a way to postively respond. The most important thing in life is you so stay true.

Why Have We Stop Taking Risk?

We all have taken risk in our lives. Some risk we have benefited from while some have had a negative impact on our lives. However, we took these risk to fulfill a passion or desire. If we take a look at our lives now, depending on how old you are, oh yeah, and who you are. We will see our lives heading in the opposite direction. Where we once threw caution to the wind to find some form of happiness, we are now running with the wind to avoid any confusion or obstacles in our life. What happened to that passion and desire? Is it gone have we grown out of it? Why have we stop taking risk?

The reason why, I believe, is fear. Fear although is a natural part of our lives, is now a crutch that is keeping us from stepping out of our little box. When we were younger we feared no less than what we fear now that we are older. However, we now fear different things. In society today fear is promoted all around us and unfortunately society is not promoting the solution to fear. We turn on our TV and we see terrorism, war, hate crimes, bankruptcy, foreclosure, divorce, debt and many more. Our lives are fuel with fear every second of the day. With that fear we search to find our safety net our barricades to keep disaster from striking. Now in ways protecting ourselves from outside elements is an important and good thing. But what happens when our fear is created and promoted from ourselves. From our own mind. We fear failure of love, financial and family to name a few. Also some of us fear death. Fear has the ability to help or hinder us.

How Does Fear Control Us?

With all this fear we begin to remove ourselves from certain situations in an attempt to save ourselves. We walk around watching and analyzing every step we take. We make our decisions base on the “WHAT IF” factor. We are so worried with what happens if this doesn’t work or doesn’t go the right way. We become consumed in the NEGATIVE of the situation it takes away from any reward that the situation may have gained. When we allow our fear to let us only see one side of the equation we reduce the chance for success, thus leaving our lives in the hands of the unknown.

Risk Through Out Life.

The lives we live from birth to death is consumed in risk. As human our risk is how we experience and learn many things.

As an infant from the moment we are born. Everything we do is a risk. Why? Because everything we are doing is for the first time.

As a toddler we start to take even more risk as we try to explore our new found world. We learn to crawl then we learn to walk. From the attempt of baby’s first steps we see the determination. As a baby stands on their weak legs it desperately tries to take a step not knowing the risk in falling, until he/she falls. However, they don’t give up because they fall, they keep trying and trying till they get it right. Even if its not perfect they enjoy that moment as they inside feel an accomplishment. Also as parents we feel the same accomplishment.

As we grow older into our teenage years risk become more complex and consequences become greater. With things such as experimenting with drugs and sex teenagers take risk daily with or without knowing the outcome. We continue to mold our lives through our experiences.

As reach our young adult years a great deal of risk have been taken. Some more than others. But as we reach adulthood we start to plateau realizing some risk have greater consequences than others we begin to pick and choose which ones are more beneficial.

Which leads us to where most of us are today “THE PRESENT”. We no longer take big risk even ones we would have considered a few years back are now too risky. Is this this the wrong mind set? Is this maturity? Are we now become responsible adults by eliminating threat by avoidance? I say in some ways YES and NO. We spent so much of our lives trying to find our place. Most of us set goals and pursued dreams at an early age. For some of us we lived for the day and for the moment ignored the future. Now we are here today looking back and saying WHAT IF.

The Breakdown.

The breakdown is when we take risk we gain reward. Although all risk doesn’t promote achievements, positive risk does. We are now at places in our lives where we know what we want out of life. We know the general direction where we want our lives to head. What we don’t know always is how to get there. That is where risk comes in, its the unknown that makes us hesitant to taking a chance. If only we were confident in ourself, to know that whatever comes our way we have the resources and knowledge to overcome. But until we obtain the self awareness our lives will be controlled by fear and fear will limit our risk which in turn will limit our success. If we risk nothing we gain nothing….