Through the fire I took the steps and endured the heat, that nearly knocked me off my feet. Although my eyes were focused on the prize, I soon realized that what I was seeing was a lie. I then begin to feel the burn now my heart yearns and my mind is forever scorn.
You are…
My blessing…
…my love
I’ve found you…at last
Though torrential tears
Flooded my lonely river
They carried me
To the welcome shores…
…of your open arms
Incessant rough waters
Tossed and turbulent
Smoothed my edges
Created a perfect fit
Into the sacred hollow…
…of your heart
Gales of intrinsic sorrow
Blown to steal my breath
Merely fanned the flames of faith
Inflated the sails of determination
For at journey’s end…
…there was you
My quest for your light
A brilliant beacon
Pierced the emptiness
Of night’s deep despair
Permeated the waters of destiny
Illuminated the harbour of our eternity
You are…
My blessing…
…my love
John 13:18-30
“Now Jesus was in great anguish of spirit, and he exclaimed, ‘The truth is, one of you will betray me!‘” (John 13:21, NLT).
Betrayal. We see it in movies, soap operas, the tabloids and our own lives. The stabbing feeling down inside, the confusion and anger and sadness over what is lost. Betrayal hurts deeply.
It could be a friend letting your deepest secret out of the bag or a spouse proving himself or herself to be unfaithful. Betrayal is an unfortunate but true reality in this less than perfect world we call home.
Even Jesus was betrayed–someone completely unworthy of such treatment, a person you’d never think of turning your back on. But people are capable of doing a lot of harm–knowingly or unknowingly–especially to those who love and trust them.
Maybe Judas wasn’t that different from the average person today. He may have thought he was dedicated to Jesus, but his true feelings finally emerged to the contrary.
Betrayal doesn’t have to be all-out rejection–it can be smaller and more subtle. Are there parts of your life that you have declared off-limits to Jesus? Do your words or actions carry hints of betrayal?
If so, it’s time to let Jesus into every part of you. He’ll give you the strength to live a life fully dedicated to Him.
I feel trapped sometimes caught up on hopes and dreams. Wishing upon a star feels so mundane but nothing I do is ordinary it seems. Is life about the greatest passion or are blessings scarce and passed out like rations? I ask myself why do I see the world so DARK? What is the meaning of the journey that I must embark? I AM CONTROLLED BY FEAR, and it consumes every part of me. The more I try to fight the weaker I get, sometimes my words slip and I say “I’m sick of this shit!” It’s a constant BATTLE WITHIN and I never know which side will win. So much pain and anguish has caused me to lose so much, love, life, family and friends. Then I’m back at square one where it all began. It always ends the same just when I think things in my life are starting to become. Instantly I’m left with no one. I ask am I destined to be alone. No answer. Is my LONLINESS my only home?
I’m trapped by these four walls crushed in between no where to move not enough space to breath. I’m accompanied by my blank stare that’s left me in a hole without a moment to spare. I’m drowned by a fantasy that I thought was real but I never really was for me it was only a dream but I once thought dreams came true at least that’s what it seemed. So once again I’m back in this place feeling lost, embarrassed, hurt and disgraced. How did I end up here again, the flaws of heart trying fight to win? I’m now realizing what I want is insane love, passion and desire only ends with pain. So I will lay the rest my warm heart and replace it with the cold, a heart that doesn’t feel or give up control. My mind is preparing battle and I think almost set, to erase all the pain that I’m trying to forget. No more hopes and dreams just cold reality that’s my new theme. I guess once again, my thoughts are confirmed. LIFE IS PAIN end of chapter, ANOTHER LESSON LEARNED!
