Lord please hear my cry
My plea for sanity
The pain I have I can no longer bear
I need your help, do you still care
I’m trying to give you my all
but each step I make
I only seem to fallLord Please hear my cry
My heart is telling me its time to let it all go
Please remove this sadness that has overcome me
Show me the light that leads to you
I can no longer deny my loneliness. It consumes from within, it clinches my heart at times in effort to remind me its not a friend. As if I can somehow forget the emptiness I am in. My mind fights for freedom but the battle is never won. Its like I am in the middle of a war and fight with no gun. I see life through a window thats dirty and worn. As sunny skies pass me by my heart becomes torn. I once thought this feeling was a temporary affair. But each day it grows stronger and my heart bears another tear. I know misery loves company and its getting crowded inside, for this is the reason why my lonliness I can no longer hide.
“But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14, ESV).
Jesus is saying this to a woman from Samaria who has come to a well for water. He’s telling her about the gift God has for her: the gift of Himself. In spiritual terms, He promises water that will take away her thirst all together. And the perpetual spring ! of water He’s talking about is the Holy Spirit who lives in each of us who know Jesus.
This woman had been married five times and was living with a man who was not her husband. Now, we don’t know any more details about these relationships but one thing is certain: no one could have had five marriages end without some pain and turmoil in life.
Like the woman in today’s verses, many of us face suffering in life: broken relationships, grief, illness, job loss. It’s inevitable.
And, sometimes, even though we know Jesus, we’re so focused on our problems that we don’t recognize the great gift God has given us–the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives who can provide peace and joy in the midst of our trials.
Yet His presence is living in each of us who love Jesus. That spring of living water is always inside us. Jesus didn’t promise we wouldn’t face difficulty and tragedy, but He did promise to always be with us.
He promised that we would have that perpetual spring within! A spring of living water, bubbling up to provide renewal and refreshment.
I can say that as a man admitting that I have fear was hard not only verbally but in my mind. I avoided it so much I truly believed I wasn’t afraid. Afraid of what? Life! Life itself had me terrified. Not to the point that I didn’t want to go outside and face the world. However in my mind facing the world was a tough battle. I battled with myself for years and still today there is some conflict. So why was I afraid of life? I guess it was the fear of failure. Maybe it was the fear of not being good enough. Or the fear of how I was seen. I tried to not think about things so deeply and just go with the flow but something inside of me never let my mind settle. I know some may think I shouldn’t worry. I wish my mind worked that way. Well the next question would be, how did fear control my life. Well the start I wouldn’t take chances and not taking chances made me miss out on a lot of opportunities. I know now when I look back I see the choices I made to not do something was out fear. The choices I made weren’t always in the best interest of my life. I now take more chances and live with less fear. I can’t say my fear is totally gone but I have learned over the years how to suppress it. This allowed me to explore more and find greater rewards in finance, love, happiness, and just life in general. I once was controlled by fear of the unknown now the only fear I have is the known.
Can I reach beyond reality
Grab a hold of my dreams
Capture my inner self
Keep my sanity
Out grow my fear
Can I see my life ahead
Skip over the present
Do I know who I am
Can I believe
For words not spoken
Are always revealed
Not knowing the next step
Is it the end of the life I lived
